codependent crazy letter (part 1 of 3)

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(I know you are frustrated, but did you think that I might be as well)

There is something that I feel that is on your mind more than the fact I dial you once every day and send a few daily texts in regards to nothing of conflict.

I just want to provide you some insight, so you have some all the facts, just in case you don’t, and maybe you aren’t purposely avoiding me. Hopefully it’s just in my mind but we all build things up in our minds, and you have too and I know because you have told me yourself just less than 3 weeks ago when you were stressed out and chatted with me for 3 to 4 hours each day of that week when you were away for work. Of course I’ll be there when you are stressed out and need to get something off your chest when you routinely contact me.

I have thought with some strain on my little brain about what might really be the issue causing your frustration with me; yes I called you a muse like a year ago, seems like this might be the issue. I don’t know. Yes you are inspiring to me based on who you are; smart, sexy, personable, driven, dedicated, creative, and your energy and aura. This is why I consider you a muse, the same reason why people enjoy your company.

Do not read into it more than what it actually is, of course I think you are cute and drop dead gorgeous, it is what it is, it’s not me thinking anything other, I am not that delusional; but I don’t want you to think that it is something other that I am thinking, than just me being inspired by your aura even your professionalism, I mean it’s so cool that you work for one of the biggest companies in the world and I am very proud of you, I find that super inspiring, and I want to surround myself with that kind of energy, you.

I like being the person you vent too don’t get me wrong but general chit chat without substance or emotions is nice and carefree, but everything time usually for a few weeks after you come back from work travels, I try to initiate some basic chat, nothing confrontational I get one word answers if I am lucky or just negative remarks or silence. I am not a mind reader on why.

I’m just confused how someone can be so open and personal, one moment, talk for hours and grab on to my time, and than the next moment goes weeks of basically acting like I am non existent. You tell me personal stuff and just push me away right after until the next time you need to confide. It just confuses me. I am a workaholic, I don’t want to talk to you all the time, I know you might feel as though I do contact you all the time, but I really don’t, no more than I do most ppl, if anything I contact you a lot less than I used too, but for some reason it feels like you think I do contact you a lot more and that in my opinion, is making you act a certain way.

I know you don’t want to chill and hang out solo, you made that, I will only ask you unless it’s something important, I got this cemented in my brain don’t worry, along with other stuff like don’t call you silly, don’t call you during work hours all that stuff.

I just want to make sure you understand where I am coming from about that muse stuff cause that’s my opinion and feelings of what I could have done to freak you out really, cause it’s not my little outbursts or tantrums

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2 Responses to codependent crazy letter (part 1 of 3)

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